His Girl Friday

I could write about the way the shots do not change as much as they do in other movies or how the dialogue is faster in His Girl Friday, but we have already heard that in class. I like the characters. It was funny how they made Walter look like a smooth ladies man. I tried to get my ex-wife to take me back by framing her boyfriend for counterfeiting and having a thug grab his mother, but she was not turned on by any of that stuff. She said I was a beeping creep. Fortunately for me, the jury thought my money was real and the counterfeiting charges were dropped. Walter did the same thing in the movie, but he did not end up looking like a creep.
I also love how everyone is evil in that movie. The mayor delayed a reprieve. The reporters in the news room drove a lady to attempt suicide, and there was that one killer guy that was getting executed.
It does not end happily for anyone either. They are arrested, dead from a car crash, arrested along with loosing their mother and fiancé, dieing in a hospital after a suicide attempt, going to be executed or sent on a honeymoon with Walter in Albany. I would take the execution over any of those. None of those sound at all happy.
I think it would be funny if Lifetime made a remake of this movie. I bet if they did, Walter would not be the charming young charismatic man who’s big blue eyes you could get lost in and who’s- … … (I should take this moment to remind the reader that I am a straight man and I am into straight guy things like muscle-cars and hunting.) Anyway the way Walter likes to coerce people makes me think that a Lifetime remake of this movie would portray him as a creepy stalker that whats her face is escaping from. I do not watch any Lifetime movies, I have only seen the parodies on SNL that I switch to during the adds on ESPN’s hunting programs, televised NASCAR events or that show where hunters do drive by shootings on deer out of muscle-cars.

Unforgiven

The Movie Unforgiven emphasizes how the characters relate to the legend of the old west. Will Munny is the main character, so he gets to be talked about first. Will was one of those legendary Wild West outlaws. He got drunk a lot, started fights and beat people up. These actions mimic the type of pro-football team that I would idolize. Like a pro-football team, Will also had fame and fans that looked up to him. People would scream and go wild as Will would pillage a town, but not the same way people go wild at football games. Like a Viking boat party though, all good things must come to an end. Will stopped killing, stealing and razing, so he could raise his kids. Will does not want to go back to his barbaric ways. He only agrees to take a job as a hit-man, so his kids will have enough money to get through the winter. The kid that tells him about the job is very different.
The kid is like someone who wants to become the most famous jouster in the world, but the only problem is that jousting is not as popular as it was six hundred years ago. This kid does not want to be a jouster; he wants to be a Wild West outlaw. He wants to be the type of outlaw that people read about in books back on the east coast. Those legendary brigands might be more recent than knights, but their era has also passed. This kid is trying to be a part of something that is going out of style.
Fearing that the kid is living in a dream world (like some kid from the suburbs who thinks they is gangsta, yes that comment was directed at you), Will seeks the help of Ned. Ned is Will’s old sidekick and knows what he is doing. Ned also gets the feeling that the kid is a poser.
When the three of them do kill the two people they are after, it is not as glamorous as it was in other movies. There were no high noon showdowns or any battles of strength between the two contenders. The second man that they kill dies on the crapper. This reminds me of a line from Austin Powers 2. Scott says, “If you have a time machine then why don’t you just go back and kill Austin while he is on the crapper!” The kid thought that this would be an adventure like what you see in a James Bond film. James Bond would never sink so low, out side of the opening to Goldeneye. This was not the type of adventure that the kid wanted. He finds that real outlaws carry a lot of emotional stress or are just plain F-ed up.
At the end of the movie, Will turns into his old self again, and goes on a killing spree. It shows just how brutal outlaws really were. On his running riot, Will shot an unarmed man then wounded six others. The real picture of his cruelty did not sink in until will shot two more people with his gun perpendicular to the ground. He left an entire village in fear of his return.

Runtime of Casablanca

You know how in my last post I said, that the difference in the time between this post and that one will be the runtime of the movie Casablanca. I think I should have picked a shorter movie. The movie was not the type of genre that I was into. It was a romantic movie. I hate love movies, but I love the evil characters. Casablanca takes place in French Morocco in 1942, and people are trying to get exit visas to go to America. There is one part in the beginning where a French officer and an Italian officer are talking and they walk by the prefect. The French guy salutes and the Italian guy hiels the prefect. It was just an interesting little conflict that happens in a brief instant and is over with just as fast. Rick is a bar owner in Casablanca. He is friends with the local prefect, lets people trade forged exit visas, never late mailing his bribes, an American and just an all around good guy. I love the way Rick talks with the German major in one conversation. “Now when you invade New York there are some neighborhoods that will give you some trouble,” he says as though he wants to help plan the invasion of the US. (It is impossible to do that because there are more guns than people in the US.) Rick does acts like he does not really care about anything throughout the entire movie. Rick’s character comes off as being so indifferent that you think he is serious about his plan that will land some he knows in a concentration camp. People also mention that Rick used to believe in more than just the fun and excitement of exploiting people for as much as you can by selling them black market goods. In the end Rick starts to believe in “noble causes” again and turns into a total woos. I still idolize the heartlessness that he had. I hope someday I can gain the cold hearted will to backstab anyone of my closest loved ones for personal gain the way Rick would have, but I still have a fragment of something that resembles a shred of a moral. The prefect is another example of a good citizen. He might be a Vichy French dog but he does good things. He sucks up to the Nazi major who is visiting. He tries to impress the guy like he was some parent that ignores him. To take the attention wanting ignored child simile even further, it is hard to get your fathers approval when you spend your nights in a bar. This bar is a classy establishment though. It is lively with a warm atmosphere that makes you feel comfortable and safe taking a bribe or buying an exit visa. Even though the prefect overlooks people illegally helping war refugees flee the Gestapo he still supports the Nazis. He is like a Packer fan. That’s right I just compared Brett Farvre to Hitler, but before the blog Gestapo bans my blog from your class forever let me explain. The prefect is a fair weather fan of the Nazis. He is a committed follower because the Germans just got the French to surrender. It is hard to get the French to surrender. (Think about it, there have been hundreds of wars in France and how many times have they surrendered. NO! That second one you are thinking of actually surrendered TO France and then became part of the country.) The Nazis were on a good winning streak, so you can see why you would want to bet on that horse back then. The Germans even took over Norway meaning the Vikings were loosing back then too! PACKER SUPERBOWL 08!!! WHO HOO!!! Before you lynch me, I want to see the Vikings win some games first.

Casablanca

Everyone who I know that has seen the movie Casablanca tells me that it is a classic and I should see it. I reply by saying, "quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!" but I think I will finally see Casablanca tonight. Is it a coincidence that the time difference between this post and my next post will be the exact runtime of the film? or am I just that irresponsible? It is a retorhical question, do not answer, but please feed my ego with comments!

Coach of the Stageness

Over the weekend I asked my grandparents about the movie Stagecoach. The remembered it very well. The blur on John Wayne’s big entrance was something my grandmother was able to recall. She also told me how the movie Notorious ended, but that is for a different blog. I liked the movie Stagecoach. I hate the music that they put into old movies. I think that is really the only thing that modern movies do better though. If only they could have made me the folly artist. I have the music from the Wild West level in the game Time Splitters 2 on my iPod. Would it have been so hard for them to use that mp3 file when they made that movie? The music in those movies is way too strong to the point of making it cheesy. They try to intensify the suspense way too much. It is like the time my uncle got really mad at my cousin for destroying a bucket of water with a boat bomb (little spinning firework, ask me in person why I call them “boat bombs”). His anger was so great that he was funny when he yelled at my cousin, not scary. That part of the film where they showed the stagecoach and then the Apache biker gang is an example of over doing emotion. The panning and the music shift are just too sudden. If the pan was more gradual and the music transitioned into the generic Indian theme of doom, it might have been better. Sounds in other old films as well are poorly placed. Star Trek had some of the most annoying sound effects that I have ever heard. Overall though it was a good movie and my list of complaints is short enough for only one blog.

Great Phrases in History

"Beep... beep... beep... beep" -Sputnik
"You plan to sail against the winds by lighting a bondfire in your boat. Do not waste my time with such non-sense" -Napoleon on steam power

The cane from Citizen Kane!

This movie was a really well done drama or what ever genre it is. I do not like this genre of film. Hopefully somebody will comment and tell me what I do not like. Watching Citizen Kane was not at all painful though because it was very artistically done. The placement of the lighting was so precise that the only way it could have been better would be if Dick Cheney, Lord of Shadows, himself commanded the darkness to move about the frames. The Shadows that cover faces at times are no accident. Kane’s face gets covered whenever he starts to “turn to the dark side” for lack of a better word. The new Star Wars prequels did not even cover young Darth Vader in shadows, and they should have. The audience would have loved to see less of that actor. Kane also had a more realistic looking crowd at his campaign speech for governor than Queen Amidala had at the galactic senate. It was amazing what they did with less technology in those days. Not to go off on too much of a tangent but, Film making, rail roads and retro-videogames are examples of my view on progress “The better the technology, the less effectively we use it.” This movie embarrasses all modern film makers.